What Do I Do About Me?

What Do I Do About Me?

By Kirk Hartness Petra Global Initiative of Northwest Arkansas

© 2024 Kirk L. Hartness Petra Global Initiative of NW Arkansas Pcinwa.com

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Introduction

A while back a friend and I were having coffee at a local breakfast shop. In the course of our time we struck up a conversation with the waitress, we’ll call her Rachel. As we talked Rachel volunteered that she hated her job (waitressing can be difficult) and wanted to take some time off. When I asked her what she wanted to do with time Rachel answered that she “wanted to work on me.” When I asked her what “me” would look like she answered “me”. So I asked her one more time what me” would look like an d she repeated the same answer again, “me.:” It appeared that Rachel was struggling with identity but she didn’t have a clear cut goal of what she was working on and how it would look in the end. So, I changed the nature of the question and asked her this; “If ‘me’ could be a person characterized bv “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self - control,” would that be a person you would like to be? She instantly and enthusiastically answered “yes.” How many reading this right now would like to be that kind of person? Would you view that as a better “me?” Is there a model for such a person and is there a way to achieve that as a goal? The answer to all of these questions is “yes.” That is what we are going to look at in this short book. But where do we go? How does such a change take place? Is there someone to talk to who can guide us down this path. Many today would seek out a professional, if they can afford them. That professional might be a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a counselor, a pastor, or whatever. In 2020 it is estimated that $280 billion dollars was spent on psychiatric care. That’s out of an estimated annual budget of nearly $4.3 trillion dollars in total health care expenditures. The Failure of Modern Psychology; Most people today think that they can receive help from a mental health professional such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or trained counselor. I have had my own issues in life and sought the help of “counselors” to facilitate solutions to the problems. I have pretty much discounted these people at this point in time. I was going through a terrible divorce and was looking for help in keeping my marriage together. Instead, all four counselors moved my wife and me closer to divorce, and that is eventually what happened. I have heard the same comments from a lot of people who have been in various forms of crises and the result was largely the same. The counseling process moved them closer to a disaster than to a solution. I have concluded that psychologists and psychiatrists are the new priests and preachers of an increasingly secularized society. The This would be a great person to be.

tragedy is that priests and preachers have the answers but either don’t know it or don’t know how to access it.

Why is this the case, why closer to despair and depression than to a sound and happy outlook? The answer lies within the nature of psychology and psychiatry itself. Let’s take a brief look at the ‘father” of modern psyc hology. Most in the profession would say the first name to come to mind is that of Sigmund Freud. What was Freud like as a person? The following is a brief summary of his personal life. Freud was an avid user and advocate of cocaine. He used it and distributed it to his friends and associates. Cocaine is a highly addictive drug that alters consciousness. It produces a euphoric effect that ultimately alters brain chemistry and physiology. All of the early “positive” effects the drug produces changes that later become a nightmare. It is not good stuff.

Freud was allegedly a defender of pedophilia.

Freud has serious issues with women. He considered them to be weak, vain, jealous, and lacking a good sense of justice. As a result, he most likely engaged in homosexual relationships with other men.

Freud was the product of generational abuse in his own family. His father molested his own children and this became a root issue that shaped Freud’s thinking.

He was a relentless addict and a serious chain smoker.

Freud used his own position to abuse some of his patients physically and financially.

When Freud died, all of his documents were sealed and shielded from public view. One wonders what was in them of such great significance that they were not allowed to be seen. Freud was an atheist. He openly admitted that he was an apostate Jew. This is critical to the way he treated people. Much of modern psychology views man as a two-part being, body and soul. But what if, in reality, man is a three-part being, body, soul, and spirit, as the Scriptures say man is. At best a secular psychologist is only treating two parts of a person, Yet, in Christian thought, the spiritual dimension is the most important of all. Freud was looking for a non-religious alternative to God, faith, and Christianity. Psychology was his way of treating the immaterial dimension of man.

When talking about Freud we are seldom told about his addictions and perversions. however, as with virtually all of us, if not all of us, his theories were really attempts to explain his own faults and failings. He spent a great deal of time on self examination, attempting to understand and deal with his own obsession and proclivities. For Freud, everything revolved around sex, and it dominated his life. Even a casual look at his work indicates that sex also dominated his views of human psychology and personality. In Freud’s thought, sex was a primary motivation I all human behavior. That may have been because it was such a dominant motivation in his own life. Freud thought of the Judeo-Christian religion as the chief obstacle for achieving sound mental health. He identified the Catholic Church in particular as the most difficult barrier. As a result, modernism has drifted into rampant sexuality of all types. How can anyone justify drag queen demonstrations to young children? Look at the absolute explosion in sexually transmitted diseases. The legacy of Freud lives on, but people are not happier with free sex, free drugs, perversion, or anything else. Now why would I pick on Sigmund Freud? Freud died in 1939. Hasn’t modern psychology moved on since then? One might say it has moved on since it has branched off from Freud to the tune of nearly 250 different theories about man and the nature of man. Much of what Freud taught has been discredited and discarded, Modern psychology is a cornucopia (a fruit basket) of theories and ideas about what makes us who we are and what makes us tick. The secular, non-spiritual world has been looking for a non-religious explanation for the existence and nature of man. Here’s the point. If the roots and trunk/stem are rotten, the rest of the plant isn’t likely to be much good either. The problem with modern psychology is that It only treats man as a two-part being, body and soul. What if there is a third part that is being ignored? Furthermore, what if the part being ignored is the most important part of all? The Bible says we are three-part beings, body, soul/mind/emotions, will) & spirit. What happens if we neglect one of the three parts? Wouldn’t a wholistic approach be far better ? It should at least be examined. I was a psychology major in college, so I know a little bit about it. My point in the discussion about psychology and counseling is that it has largely been a failure. During my college days I saw a study in which they took five hundred people in need of counseling. They divided the counselees into two equal groups of 250 each. One group spent two years in fairly intense counseling/therapy. The other group was told to spend their two years talking with a good friend. After two years they surveyed the groups to find out how many had gotten better. Take a guess at which group had more people that improved over

the two-year period. The answer is that the number of people who improved was roughly the same. The upshot is that what most people needed was a good and wise friend to confide in and to work things through with. As an aside, I would guess that the non therapy group felt much better. They didn’t have to pay thousands of dollars in counseling fees. Why did I take the time here to take a shot at modern psychology? It doesn’t work effectively. If yo u are hoping to find a new definition of “me” there , you will end up with various ideas of what a person should look like based on the counselor/psychologist’s own ideas . It doesn’t produce a new “me” on any kind of a consistent basis. So, are we left without hope, or is there another way? That’s what this brief book is leading up to. There is another way. Let’s go back to Rachel for a moment. I asked her if being a person characterized by “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self- control” would be a “me” she would embrace and she enthusiastically said yes. Where did that list come from? The Apostle Paul in the New Testament book of Galatians described these characteristics as the “fruit of the Spirit.” She wants what we all want, but doesn’t know how to acquire it. Let’s now take a closer look at what this is all about. Augustine said , “You have made us for yourself O God and we can find no rest until we find our rest in You.” Paschal, “A point without an infinite reference point is an absurdity.” When we abandoned God as the reference point for the totality of our lives, we were cast adrift in a sea of theories and opinions. We are now witnessing the results/consequences in our daily lives. Voltaire said, “If God did not exist, man would have to invent Him.” Why would Voltaire say this? He ultimately recognized that God is the source of human conscience and human goodness. Without God, there is no check and balance on human activity and personality. The problem with Voltaire ’s comment is this; if man could invent God, then man would be God, because man is finite and fallible and any god man could create would also be finite and fallible. Instead of man being created in the image of God, we would have a god created in the image of man. If there is a God, and there is, then He is by very definition completely different from us. Therefore, the only way we can conceive of God and know God is if He reveals Himself to us in a way we can understand a way we can relate to. Now there are a significant number of religions in the world, but only Christianity can give us a sound definition that we are looking for. For Christians throughout the ages, the Bible gives us a great picture of who God is and what He is like. Furthermore, the picture is also found in a Person. In the Bible, Paul said that the Person, Jesus, is the “Image of the invisible God and the exact representation of His nature. W e need a new model after which to pattern our lives and in the Scriptures we have such a model. It

is in our very nature to become like what we focus on. Maybe you’ve heard a person say that they would never be like their father or mother. Yet when you look at the person they are just like the person they don’t want to look or be like. Why? They are focusing on a bad model rather than picking a good one. Now remember, if we agree that the “fruit of the Spirit is our goal we need to find someone who embodies it and can enable us to live that way. The only model I can come up with is Jesus Christ. H e doesn’t just embody the fruit of the Spirit. He is the fruit of the Spirit. Furthermore, it is God’s goal to transform us into the image of Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul wrote this; “Whom He (God) foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed into the image of His Son (Jesus Christ).” Here is a brief summary of God’s plan for mankind. God is in the process of creating a new race of people who are born of His Spirit and who are now being shaped into the image of His Son. His intent is to have a race of sons and daughters with whom He wants to have a relationship and through whom He intends to rule His kingdom. They will be identified as a race of priests and kings. This is very clearly stated in the Scriptures. If that’s the goal, how do we get there?

The Owner’s Manual Every vehicle I have ever owned came with an owner’s manual. The manual tells me everything I need to know to maintain and operate the vehicle with maximum efficiency. The manual tells me when to change the oil. It tells me what parts to use for replacement of used or damaged parts. Where can we find an owner’s manual for human behavior and life? For millennia many have found the answer in the Bible. Most dismiss the Bible as simply a book. But it is far more than a “book.” In reality, it is a collection of writings about man’s encounters with the Judeo-Christian God. The Bible contains 66 “books” or writings by 42 or 43 different authors. The literature ranges from historical content to prophecies about what will happen in the future. In fact, a significant portion of the Bible was prophetic when it was written. Much has been fulfilled literally and there is still a great deal to come. The Bible contains wisdom literature. Wisdom meant skillful living and one could order their everyday lives by what is contained there. The Scriptures also contain the heartfelt prayers of believers long ago. In those prayers we also find echoes of our own prayers today. It has served as an excellent “owner’s manual” for countless millions of people. The Bible also records the failures of these people as well as the consequences of their failures. In this we have both an incentive and a warning. We ’ ve already agreed that the fruit of the Spirit mentioned above would be a worthy goal. So, I’d suggest that we aim at that. The next question is; “How do we achieve that goal?” There’s an old adage that says, “If you keep on doing what you always did, you’ll keep on getting what you always got. If you keep on doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep on getting what you ’ re getting.” Another similar adage concerns an accurate definition of insanity. It goes like this. “ Insanity is doing the same thing over and over hoping to get a different result.” If you are not experiencing the fruit of the Spirit you need to ask yourself why that is the case. Then, when you start getting answers you will find that you will have to change. God is not going to provide His gifts and fruit to those who do not want to walk with Him. Every definition of positive self-image must include an honest, realistic, self-evaluation. What am I doing that I should feel good about? What am I doing that I should feel bad about? Need to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. Don’t rationalize . Call bad behavior what it is. Dr. Karl Menninger was a famous psychologist/psychiatrist in the 1960’s and 70’s. He formed the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, KS that is still nationally known today. Dr. Menninger had roots in the Presbyterian Church back when church was still a valued entity. In 1973 He

published a book entitled “ Whatever Became of Sin? ” Dr. Menninger recognized that most of the psychological struggles people had stemmed from guilt. Secular psychology attempts to remove guilt by denying that a wrong or wrongs were committed. Dr. Menninger recognized that the psychological issues could never be removed unless you could remove the guilt issue. We don’t like the word today, but the word the Bible says results in guilt feelings is “sin.” The word translated “sin” in the Bible is from a Greek word that means “missing the mark.” If an archer aimed his arrow at a target and missed the bull’s eye it was called sin, missing the mark. The Scriptures indicate that we have all “missed the mark.” The result is feelings of guilt, shame, or similar emotions. If we want to improve “me” we have to consider the problem of sin and the accompanying guilt. Biblically speaking, man was created to be in a Father/child relationship with God. Sin/missing the mark breaks the relationship resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation, meaninglessness, guilt, and so on. Unfortunately, modern psychology attempts to deal with these feelings through rationalization, behavior modification, denial, or whatever else they have in their medical kit. In the end, it doesn’t solve the problem. Now we’ll return to the original issue with Rachel. What would a positive self-image look like? I’ll restate the original question again. If you could be a person characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, would that be a person you would be satisfied with? This list comes from a statement made by the Apostle Paul in the New Testament book of Galatians. He talks about the deeds of the flesh first. If you read through that list you will find a fairly comprehensive list of things people do every day. But t hose things don’t produce the happiness, meaning, and self-fulfillment that we crave. The fruit of the Spirit can only be experienced o n God’s terms. He is the Creator of all things. He wrote the Owner’s manual and knew how we best operate. Therefore, if we want to be what we were created to be something will have to change and that has to be “me.” Now we’re back to it, aren’t we. What do I do about me? What we will find is that the old “me”, called the “flesh” in the Bible, can’t be reformed. No matter how much you try to make it better through conditioning, drugs, or whatever, “me” will always revert back to type. So, “me” cannot be reformed.

The Need for truth or being realistic about ourselves. What am I doing or not doing that is creating inner discontent?

The Need for A New Model, an Ideal Man to Pattern our Lives after.

There is a popular saying that goes something like this. “He who aims at nothing generally hits it.”

The Model Becomes the goal. The Scriptures teach us that God originally created man in His image and likeness. Because we chose to go our own way, to set our own course, or choose our own path, that image was separated from God and what we are now looking at is a race of fallen beings who are randomly picking their way through life. I heard a man say one time that most people acquire their values like they find loose change on the street, a penny here, a nickel or dime there, once in a great while a larger bill. No thought is given to where the coins came from or how they fit together. Most people go with a saying that was popularized in the 1960’s. “If it feels good, do it.” Nice thought I suppose, but what if what feels good in the moment leads to heartache and despair down the road? There may be a need for a longer-term perspective than immediate pleasure and gratification. Years ago, the young people had bracelets and necklaces made with the letters “WWJD.” The letters stood for the question “What would Jesus Do?” That’s not a bad starting point. If Jesus is the model, then His behavior becomes the pattern for how we should live our lives. The Gospels in the New Testament are a record of what Jesus said and did during His three years of earthly ministry. There we find Jesus in most of the circumstances, at least where people are concerned, that we find ourselves in today. By comparing our circumstances with people to other similar circumstances in the life of Jesus, we can put together a pattern of behavior for most situations in life.

Furthermore, by understanding the fruit of the Spirit that was mentioned above, we also find out how we are to feel in those circumstances.

John 14, The ministry of the Holy Spirit in the life of the Christian. 14 :16, Another Helper

Another of the same kind or order as opposed to another of a different kind.

Helper , Helper is from a Greek word meaning “one called alongside to help, comforter, an advocate or an intercessor.

When Jesus was speaking, He was their Helper and Comforter. Jesus promised that, after His departure, He would send Another of the same order. However, rather than operating with the disciples in the physical realm as Jesus did, the Holy Spirit would operate from within them and us.

While Jesus was on earth He was localized, one place at a time. The Holy Spirit operates in the spiritual realm and is not limited by space or time.

With you forever, Jesus was on earth a short time, but the Holy Spirit is eternal. He is with us forever.

14:17, Spirit of Truth, What is truth? Jesus indicated that the word of God is truth. The Spirit will lead and empower to live according to God’s word.

The World cannot receive, does not see Him or know Him.

Abides with Us.

Will be in Us (indwell)

John 15, Bearing Fruit Jesus makes it very clear that He wants us to bear fruit. In John 15:8 He said this; “By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and prove (demonstrate/become), My disciples. Jesus gives us the secret to fruit bearing in this paragraph. He uses the illustration of a vineyard with grape vines. It was a picture that everyone in that time was familiar with. The vines had a stem and branches that grew out of the stem. Clusters of grapes grew on the vines and were harvested when ripe. In this story, God Himself is the caretaker of the vineyard working to make each vine as fruitful as possible. When I talked with Rachel that day, what I shared with her was a part of the fruit that God wants to produce in us. His Holy Spirit indwells us and we bear “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self- control.” What is our responsibility in this endeavor. Jesus speaks of the need to abide. The Greek word Jesus uses means to continue on in, to rest in, to remain in. In essence, our responsibility is to hang onto or remain in the vine, and the Spirit will produce the fruit. A caution might be necessary here. It may take time for the fruit to appear in mature form. There are seasons of growth and harvest that need to be recognized here. One does not gather mature fruit in the early spring. The fine puts forth leaves, blossoms, and then small fruit appears. It grows through rain, heat, cultivation, and so forth. The same is true of the fruit of the Spirit.

Earlier I spoke of a process of transformation that takes place. The grape vine starts as a seed and over the years matures to where it can bear fruit. The same cycle is repeated in all fruit-bearing plants. But that small seed begins to germinate and is ultimately transformed into a large, lush, vine, if properly cared for. Your responsibility is to continue in the vine and plant yourself in a place where you can grow, preferably with other Christians who are on the same journey.

The Need for an owner’s manual . How to know how to maintain the machine if we are going to keep it running. For a plant to grow it needs to be planted in fertile soil. For the Christian, the Bible is the owner’s manual. It contains the instructions we need to be fruitful human beings. In that light, it involves time reading and studying. It also involves time learning with other Christians who are on the same journey. But it also involves more than this. Growth involves prayer that puts us in direct contact with God the Father. Remember, He is the Caretaker of the vineyard, and we are to remain in contact with Him. The Need for a Plan: Reformation of the Old Self vs. replacement with a new me. If we agree that the old me is broken and defective, what would be the objection to being given a new me that God is working in to create a new spiritual being. What is being suggested here? I am suggesting, and the Scriptures say this as well, that there is a need to forsake that which old and broken, and accept the offer that God makes to put His very life and Spirit within us. The Christian life often portrayed as God giving us everything for nothing. The reality is that God is offering us a swap. He is offering us everything He is in exchange for everything we are. The Need for a new source of empowerment In the secular realm change basically comes from self-improvement, self-help, behavioral modification, or whatever.

Ny next eBook will deal with power source that makes transformation possible.

The Need for Surrender of the Will

The Need is not for reconstruction but for a transplant that leads to transformation. Narcissist: It’s all about me.

Spiritually mature: It’s all about God and how I stand in relation to Him. If I don’t like me and I want to be something different or better, I must be willing to change both my outlook on life and my behavior.

Definition of Insanity; Doing the same thing over and over and hoping to get a different result.

Conclusion: What do I do about me? I have to find a new definition of me and how I can change it into the new definition. God’s offer is to indwell us, change us, conform us to the image of Jesus Christ, and empower us to make the changes. The fruit of the Spirit is one of the primary characteristics of the changed life. God is not interested in improving your old life. He is interested in implanting a new life in you through a spiritual birth resulting in a new spiritual man or woman. Romans 12:1,2, “I urge you brethren by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. ” Fruit-bearing is a process. If you have ever raised fruit trees you know that the saplings have to be planted, weeded, fertilized, watered, and pruned. It takes several years for a seed to grow to the stage of mature fruit bearing. In the same way a Christian must be fed, watered, pruned, etc. That process comes through time in the Scriptures, time under wise teachers, prayer, and a willingness to submit to God and the process. Transformation results in fruitfulness and it will take some time. Philippians 3:21, “who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power He has even to subject all things to Himself.” 2 Corinthians 3:18, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” I’m going to make one final suggestion. Perhaps you are wondering why so few seem to be characterized this way, or why you have not seen very many people who are characterized by the Fruit of the Spirit. First and foremost, this is a process, not a finished product. Learning to walk in this way takes time, perhaps a lifetime. Don’t let the failings of others keep you from walking and living in a manner that lets you become a fruitful human being. A t this point in my life, I am somewhat at war with what is called the “institutional” or “legacy” church. The legacy church has basically descended and morphed since the time of Christ. It has created forms and practices that are destructive to true, Biblical, Christianity and to genuine spirituality. In subsequent eBooks I intend to address the issues of walking in the Spirit and spiritual warfare more completely. However, it is difficult to find those answers consistently within the legacy church. If we can be of help here at Petra, we would desire to do so. You can reach us through the web site where you found this eBook. Also, please Transformation

continue to track with us as there is more to come. Also, you will find a book on this web site entitled, “What in the World Was God Thinking? These eBooks are summaries of some of the chapters, but the fuller explanation will be found in that book.

Also, I welcome feedback on what we are writing and doing at Petra. Please feel free to contact us and we will get back to you as soon as possible.