The Strand Study Bible

DEUTERONOMY

DEUTERONOMY

387

God: Yep! Max responds: But how do you deal with that kind of omniscience? Doesn’t it get kind of mixed up in your head? God: Nope! I think that you are getting the two of us confused, Max. Things often get mixed up in your head not mine. I never run out of energy. I’ve never been late for an appointment. My capabilities come from my eternal abilities. And whenever I watch you balance your checkbook, I shutter to watch. Do you know what I do, Max, when I watch you trying to balance your checkbook? Max: What? God: I distract myself by counting backwards to infinity. Max ponders: Tell me, God, tell me something about me that I don’t know about myself? God: Ok, Max. Your brain operates on the same amount of power as a 10 watt light bulb, which is ten percent of the power it takes to run a 100 watt light bulb. Are you with me so far? And if you’re using just ten percent of your brain, then at this very moment your brain is making a thousand trillion computations a second. That’s 1 followed by a thousand and twelve zeros. Are you with me so far? You have between sixty and one hundred trillion cells in your body that are being absorbed and replaced at a rate of a trillion a day, which is like renovating a house the size of Texas by continuously tearing down and rebuilding one million rooms per second. By the way, twenty-five million cells within you just died while I was giving you this information. In fact, ninety percent of your atoms are replaced annually; and every five to seven years they are replaced totally. Not only that, but there are more cells in your body than there are stars in the sky. You see Max, your body contains 10 to the 28th atoms (that’s 10 followed by 28 zeros). You’re known universe only contains 10 to the 20th stars. Which means Max, that you’re body is a million times more complex than the known universe. Your nerve impulses vary enormously but the fastest ones travel at about 250 mph, which is as fast as a Formula 1 racing car. Good thing too. Because if your burning your finger, you’re going to want your brain to get that message as quickly as possible. Your lungs inhale air twenty-three thousand times a day (over 630 million times in an average lifetime). And at this moment you have 18.755 billion trillion air molecules in your lungs. Your body has 100,000 miles of blood vessels running through it, which is four times the circumference of the earth. Your heart will squeeze over sixty million gallons of blood throughout and around your body, and it will do that three billion times by the time you die. Oh, and by the way Max, did you know that you have a sixth cousin who lives in Italy and is a plumber… and the front tire on your Ford truck is a little low. Want me to keep going? Max hesitates for a moment: Uh, ok… God: Do you know how important it is to learn to laugh, Max? Max: I’m not sure... God: I built within you the capacity to laugh because laughter increases secretion of catecho-lamines and en- dorphins, which in turn increases oxygenation of the blood, relaxes the arteries, speeds up the heart, decreases blood pressure, which has a positive effect on all cardiovascular and respiratory ailments, as well as overall increasing the immune system response. Now that you know that, Max… will you try and laugh a little more? Max: I will… Can I ask you another question, God? God: Yep! Max: Could you tell me the names of all the stars? God: Yep! But you only have ten minutes. Max: What about the galaxies, then? God: As I said, you only have ten minutes. However, I do have time to show you one of my galaxies, if you want. Max: Sure! God: It’s one out there towards the edge of space, which has yet to be discovered. In fact, I plan on annihilating it. No one will miss it anyway. I just made it cuz I liked the way it sparkled. Wanna watch? Max: Sure! God: There! Done! Can’t see it anymore now, can you, Max? Max: That was totally amazing, God! How did you do that? God: Have you ever heard of antimatter, Max? Then again, maybe you don’t want to know –it would probably give you MIGHTmares. Max: You mean nightmares, don’t you God? God: I know what I mean, and I meant MIGHTmares, not nightmares. Nightmares are what people experience