The Strand Study Bible

EPHESIANS “MINI” SERIES Seven Steps To Happy Parenting

I. Raising Children for God Lesson #1 . Children are supposed to produce happiness in the lives of their parents (Psa 127:3-5 & 113:9)

Children are supposed to be an asset (Gen 33:5) to their parents, not a liability (I Sam 1:10 & 2:1); they are supposed to produce joy, not sorrow (I Sam 2:22-24); they are supposed to stand up for their parents (Psa 127:5), not stand against them (II Sam 18:33). Parenting ought to be a time of happiness (Psa 113:9) and reward (Psa 127:3), not heartache and regret (II Sam 13:39 & 18:33 and I Kings 1:5-6 & 11:9). According to God’s Word, it is the wise child who produces gladness and joy in the heart of the parents. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parents to see to it that this God-given wisdom is properly instilled into the heart and mind of their child. According to the Bible, there are two kinds of wisdom that parents can offer their children: earthly wisdom (Jms 3:15-16 and Eccl 1:13,16-18), or heavenly wisdom (Jms 1:5 & 3:17 and Prov 2:6). Heavenly wisdom comes as a direct result of fearing the LORD (Psa 111:10 and Prov 1:7), i.e., properly reacting to the Word of God (Deut 4:5-6 & 17:18-19). Therefore, if parents can teach their children to obey the Bible, then parents can raise wise children. According to Hebrews 12:9-11, God the Father is a better parent than we are when it comes to instructing children. Therefore, His ways of instructing, correcting, and chastening will always be superior to our ways. According to II Chronicles 33, God’s method of instructing, correcting, and chastening is always two-fold (Prov 29:15 and Eph 6:4). He uses: 1. reproof ( admonition – II Chro 33:1-10) Reproof is training by word . However, when reproof doesn’t work, God changes His approach by getting out His rod (Hab 1:1-12). 2. rod ( nurture – II Chro 33:11-13, Prov 13:24 & 19:18 & 20:30 & 22:15 & 23:13-14) Interestingly enough, God’s rod is not always corporal. Sometimes it’s inspirational (Job 1). Job didn’t need a spanking; he needed spiritual insight. Sometimes the only way we learn is for God to “ walk us through it .” That’s what nurture is – training by action (Acts 7:22 and Heb 12:5-8). NOTE – Sadly, whenever reproof and the rod no longer work, God is forced to remove us (Amos 4:6- 12 and Num 14:20-23) and/or shelve us (I Cor 9:27). Thus, it is the “combination” of the rod ( nurture ) and reproof ( admonition ) that give wisdom. No one learns what he needs to learn from God without going through this two-fold process. Lesson #4 . Teaching children to obey the Bible is the father’s responsibility (Deut 6:6-7,21 & 8:5 Josh 24:15, Prov 2:1 & 3:1,11-12, Job 1:5, Isa 38:19, Heb 12:9 and Colo 3:21) God’s plan for rearing children always starts with fathers. Even the One who chastens and corrects us as children of God refers to himself as a Father (Heb 12:5-9, Psa 103:13 and Mal 3:17). According to the Bible, God holds the fathers, not the mothers, responsible for the training of the children. It is the fathers who are responsible for the encouraging of the children (Eph 6:4 and Colo 3:21) as well as the correction and chastening of the children (Prov 3:11-12 & 13:24 & 20:30 & 22:15 & 23:13-14 & 29:15,17, Heb 12:9 and Deut 8:5). It is true that mothers play a vital role in the teaching of their children (Prov 1:8 & 6:20 & 31:1-31, Eph 6:1,2 and Colo 3:20) for they represent the Holy Spirit in the home (Jn 14:26, I Thes 2:7-9 and Gal 5:22-23), but in the end it is the fathers, not the mothers, who are held accountable for the up-bringing of their children (Gen 18:19 and Deut 6:6-7,21). Happy parenting begins when fathers take seriously their God-given responsibility and begin to search the Scriptures daily as to how God the Father rears His children and then rear their own accordingly. Lesson #2. Happy parents are a direct result of wise children (Prov 10:1 & 23:15-16,24-25 & 27:11) Lesson #3. Wise children are children who have been taught to obey the Bible (Deut 4:5-6)

Lesson #5 . Fathers are to provide their children with an example to follow (Prov 23:24-26)

Fathers must provide a good example for their children, if they want their children to follow their advice. In essence, what a father wants his children to be, he must be! According to Joshua 24:15,31 and Psalm 128, fathers who provide a good example for their children to follow will not only produce children that will become “olive-like” plants, but will also bring about added blessings upon their own households from the Lord (Gen 18:17-19). Scripturally, a father’s example means everything to a child’s upbringing and future. A father should always be a visual illustration of what he is trying to teach his children. No matter how great a father is in the sight of others, if he fails to provide an honest example before his own children, his children will fail to follow his leadership (I Ki 1:5-6). Take for example, David’s own losses after his sin with Bathsheba in II Samuel 11: * He lost his son Amnon (II Sam 13) * He lost his son Absalom (II Sam 15-18) 1975